Places and Spaces
It’s no secret that our surroundings directly effect our quality of life and ultimately shape who we become as a person. Metaphorically, our environments are a container that we consciously decide to pour our lives into, greatly influencing who we become, how we see the world, and our ability to grow. As I’ve journeyed through life, I’ve naturally matured in and out of different environments, experiencing and learning pivotal things in each and every one, but mostly that we take home what we take in. Though to a fault, I’ve noticed myself stick around and settle for places, spaces, and people that aren’t aligned with who I authentically am or who I ultimately want to be. I’ve been personally reflecting on why that is, and realized it often doesn’t have to do with my surroundings at all, but how at-home I am within myself at the time.
It’s only when I’m grounded and present in my internal environment that I’m able to know whether something in my external one is helping or hindering my ability to grow, or vice versa. These two places—my inner and outer worlds, my unique fortress—directly effect each other, requiring radical trust and self awareness to work in perfect harmony. Sustenance looks like experiencing and normalizing myself with what I don’t know, to get out of my routines and be reminded of the mystery and newness of everything. I have to move around to forego my comfort zone and test how safe I feel within the house of myself, despite my surroundings. When the external is testing my ability to metabolize new and challenging situations and feelings, I’m reminded that I already have the answers, I just have to come back to what life has already taught me, and trust in what I already know. Not ‘I’ll be happy when…’ but ‘regardless of anything, I know who I am and what is true to me.’ Aka, I’ve got my own back.
When I neglect the maintenance of ‘me’, cracks form in my foundation and I stray from the home of my heart. When I find myself in places or circumstances I never meant to be in, it almost always stems from not tending to or trusting in my intuition. When I let go of unnecessary clinging to the external, surface-level unfolding of my life, I can focus on nesting myself up, and then making strong choices from a nourished soul. When I find myself outgrowing a place, I can focus on setting myself up for self-defined success and clean the windows behind my eyes.
Only now are we beginning to understand that all life on Earth depends on the freedom to move.
david attenborough
The ability to see clearly when comfort or fear has control of my existence reminds me that I have the freedom to theoretically move my inner environment to level grounds, to a new foundation made by impenetrable trust in unknown territory—still the total package, just delivered to a new address. So when whatevers gonna happen actually happens, I’m safe and sound, sure, at peace, and at home within. This house is built to weather life’s storms and flex new muscles—the ones required to maintain, renovate, or repair it. We all share a home on the Earth, but individually reside in the sanctuary of our mind, body, and soul at all times. Each of us is solely responsible for the upkeep of ourself, otherwise we can’t muster up the strength to authentically balance out the two unique worlds we exist in. Growing pains should be the byproduct of reaching for what we want, not lugging around old baggage.
So as I reflect on and move through external environments, I’ll come home to myself first. I’ll make changes and move after I come back to what I know. Which is, when I let go of control, my hands are free to accept life’s invitation to more of it. When I stray from the conventional path, my soul comes wandering back. When I tune out all the noise, I can hear my own voice. When I connect with my heart, I can understand it’s language. When I stop striving for more, I’m present and grateful for what is. When I’m honest with myself and make tough choices, I can unlearn old patterns.
When it’s all too much out there, I’m always cradled in here. When I accept that what happens next is out of my hands, I understand that what happens now is entirely up to me. When I set the table, I choose who’s around it and what is served. When I set my standards, I belong amongst the places, spaces, and people around me. When I start putting myself first, I universally stop enabling the belief that I come second. When I refuse to settle for just surviving, I inevitably set myself up for thriving. That’s where I reside.